A question always came to my mind that who am I? Am I a spiritual person or an agnostic- a fanatic believer or a liberal follower?
After much though I always came to a conclusion that I do believe in God. I do believe that there is a supernatural power that is controlling everything in this universe. Now again a question arises that whether this is my personal belief or majority of inhabitants believe in the same way. And the reason for this belief is that they are unable to answer many questions. They don't know the exact origin of life, they don't know whether hen came first or egg?
I am a believer but not a follower. I believe in God but don't have time to pray or follow the necessary rituals. I have my own excuses that I don't have time or I am busy in my own schedule. I have 3hrs to watch a movie but I can't spare 3mins to offer prayers. The case is not that I don't want to do all these things. The fact is that I want but I can't. People say that some miracle may force me to be a true follower and believer. I disagree with them as I have seen many miracles.
My mother was diagnosed with cancer and the concerned doctor said that it is in the later stage and she cannot be operated. The miracle happen and another doctor came as Godsend. She was operated and she is fine for last 15yrs.
Seven years back, my father had brain hemorrhage and heart attack at the same time. No one was expecting that he will survive and thank God he is with us till now.
Three years back, my mother fell down from stairs and her hip ball cracked. The doctor says that hip ball needs to be replaced else she would live a disabled life. The miracle does happen and she is walking on her own feet without any operation or medication. Even doctors were shocked to see that.
There are many more miracles that happen in my life but I am still the same shameless believer who is adamant of not following the religion religiously.
The question is still there that why I am like this? Why I can't change? Is the devil overpowering me or I have been my own devil who always wants to live an easier life? Am I taking my life as granted? Am I a person who always found shelter in excuses?
I am unable to get these answers. Do you know?
I am a believer but I want to be follower.
1 comment:
I started off as an agnostic. With time, I realised that I am a firm believer in God, an almighty, albeit I don't care (as a Hindu) so much about idol worship. I really don't believe in paying more to get to worship faster of reach the temple in a more comfortable manner. Finally, I am not confused anymore. I am a spiritual person!
Here is my honest suggestion. Please read few spiritual books. I did a lot of soul searching thru books. I read the Gita, the Koran and I am reading the Bible. I read books by MK Gandhi, books from ISKCON, travelogues of holy places and intend to read the purnas and stuffs. This has instilled in me a calmness; a re-affirmation in my own faith (not necessarily in god/religion)!
Post a Comment