Pyaar ke Side effects

Two days back I discussed with you the love and its aftereffects on today's youth (Pyaar ka Punchnaama). In this post I am going to discuss love again but this love is not of youth, it is the love of matured persons. In gist, I would say that love is not only blind; it is powerful enough to control all your senses irrespective of your maturity level.

I would like to share story of one of my friend. He was a very jolly person and used to enjoy the life. There was no place of commitment or relation in his life. Life was smiling at him till he joined his job. There he got attracted towards a lady who was 10yrs elder than him and was working at senior position. She was very mature and never initiated anything with my friend. But the infatuation wins and after many efforts they both befriended and gradually the love affair started. The lady was not at all in favor of having an affair with a younger person but as I said that love can do anything and she also accepted the relation.

They are having relation for last three years but the real problem arises when the parents of my friend asked him to marry. In normal course, two mature persons loving each other can easily marry. But here nothing was normal. There were two major differences: religion and age. My friend is not ready to accept any other girl in his life, as he really loves that lady. He has a genuine logic that I can't betray two persons in my life- the existing girlfriend and his would be wife.

I have no answers for his logics but the reality is more frightening. He is the only son of his parents (his father is retired person) and like all Indian parents they too are expecting a daughter-in-law who fulfills all the set standards and customs of the prevailing society.

With all my random philosophies on love and relationships, I tried to make him understand that it would be injustice to his parents if he chooses that lady out of his parent's wishes. He is from a conventional background so religion will definitely be an issue but still it can be overlooked but age factor cannot be ignored easily. As of now, my friend just doesn't want to discuss anything regarding marriage but I don't know till when?

I think that marriage is not at all the fate of love. Love is strong enough to exist and survive on it's own.Why to bound a relation that is free in nature? I know that he has committed a big mistake by initiating that relation but should he continue living his life like that or follow a different path.

At present he is a totally lost person and busy in his own life. We used to talk almost every week, now it's months and there is no news, as he know that I will always try to persuade him to agree to his parents wishes. I don't know what will be the end of this love story. I am asking your views on it.

What would you suggest to my friend? Whom to chose- love or responsibilities?

I would like to request all the readers of this post that please think ten times before committing to a relation else the side effects would be so horrible that you might have never thought. 

Pyaar ka Punchnaama

Love is among the very few things in this world that can make a person most happy as well as most unhappy. But I have one doubt that if love is always considered above the lust, then why love makes a person unhappy? I just thought over this question and randomly tried to conclude some random thoughts.

I tried to analyze most of the love stories (Important: MOST, not ALL) happening in today's world. Nowadays a partner is considered a status symbol, it is just like car, mobile etc. A person considers him/her in the list of have-nots till s/he has a partner.

I remember a recent incident when I was in a McD in Mumbai. A group of four youngsters (two girls & two boys) were sitting near my table. They might have hardly crossed their 15^th birthday. All were having blackberries and were wearing latest trendy clothes. I didn't hear a single Hindi word from their mouth. Their every phrase was starting with a F-word. They were kissing each other as if they were in their bedrooms. I felt myself very backward at that moment. I was just wondering at their every action. I keep staring till the time they were there.

At that moment it seems that they were enjoying their life the most. But would they be able to maintain the same liveliness and youthfulness in them till the end. I don't think so.

Nowadays youths don't love for themselves, they love for FaceBook. Their every snap is taken with a view point to upload on some or other social sites- sometimes to show off and sometimes to make other jealous. I think you remember the recent suicide incident by an IIM student who hanged herself after her boyfriend changed his relationship status.

The youth of today start up their affair with the thought of 'iss pal ki soch'. Girl/ boyfriend is just a time pass for them or even they are serious they don't ever think about their future. I have talked to many persons in love and they all will say the same things: " Nothing is serious between us. We love each other and are enjoying our life. We know that we can't marry but that doesn't matter to us. Blah. Blah. "

But they are not aware of the effect of love. They never know when they will become serious in their time pass affair. There are two consequences of that relation. Either they will rebel from their families or one of them will be totally heart broken. That momentary love and enjoyment will end in lifetime pain.

I will only request one thing to today's generation that think for a moment about the future of your relation. If it's positive, go ahead. If not, then wait for the right person; s/he will surely meet you at the right time. Don't hurry, it will only give you worry.

Just remember- Love can be the most beautiful thing happened in your life if you act judiciously.

What Life means to you?

A blind boy was sitting on the footpath holding a sign- "I am blind, please help."

There were hardly few coins in the hat as nobody bothered that a boy is blind.

A person passed through that place, put some coins in front of him. Then took the signboard from him, turned it around and wrote something. He gave the board back in the boy's hand.

Soon the hat began to fill up as more and more people were giving money to the blind boy.

In that afternoon, that man came back to see the changes and the boy recognized his footsteps and asked him, "What did you write?"

The man said, I just wrote the truth and convey the same thing as you were trying to convey but in a different way.

"I wrote: 'Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it.'"

Both signs were similar in meaning but the first simply said that the boy is blind. The second sign told passersby that they were so blessed by God that they were not blind.

This was a story I read somewhere. There is one more similar real life story.

If you are fond of reality shows and had ever seen Dance India Dance aired on Zee TV, you might have seen the performance of 'Kamlesh Bhai' from Vadodara. He is physically handicap and couldn't walk on his legs. He is totally dependant on his hands for movement. His legs got polio and are totally lifeless. But despite all this, he is such a wonderful dancer that all were amazed to see his performance. Though he has only two hands for doing all the dance movements but that were enough to mesmerize the crowd.

Moral:
Be thankful to almighty GOD for what you have.
Be creative. Be innovative.

Think differently and positively. Just be optimistic.
When life gives you ten reasons to cry, show life that you have hundred reasons to smile.

Do remember:

Life is not about what you have.

It's about what you value and appreciate.

Life is not about what you are born with.
It's about what you do with what you have.

Life is not about crying over past.

It's about smiles to welcome the future.

Life is not about the gifts you received.

It's about the gifts you gave others.

Life is not about cribbing.

It's about thanking GOD for showing this universe.

So what life means to you?

Just share your views on life in two lines in the similar way I tried to do.

10-points someone !!!

He was my classmate and best friend in my engineering college. At first glance he looks like a person who is fun loving and can never be serious in his life. He used to interact with all and have all the habits synonymous to non-studious students. He was a regular smoker, wanderer and avid moviegoer. He never missed any Friday show (he was more regular in movies during exam times). No one ever sees him studying seriously but he was the lone 10-grader of my college.

There were other classmates who were very serious about studies. Among them, one particular person always tried to compete in grades with my friend. That person never watched a movie in four years of engineering course and was always found engrossed in books. He used to read all the relevant books and other sources for a simple topic. He was always found in library during breaks whereas my friend used to have masti during that time. That person's sole aim was to beat my friend but was unable to do so.

People used to wonder why my friend always topped the chart inspite of extra involvement in hobbies and other extra-curricular activities.  I know the reason and the only reason was his strategy and dedication. He has a unique way of studying. He used to read, understand and then write everything. He used to follow a fix routine and never broke it for anyone or even me, inspite of being his close friend. He never studied for 12-15 hours in a day but used to dedicatedly spare 1 hour and that was the reason for his victory.

In a nutshell, I will say that he didn't focus on what he didn't have like extra books, Internet or computer. He focused on what he did have. Using what little he had, he used to beat all his fellow competitors.

Be like HIM. Don't focus on what you don't have or what others have that's bigger, stronger and supposedly better than yours.

Focus on the talents and resources that you do have.

Focused motive often wins over every hurdle.

Go knock 'em down!

Believer or Follower???

A question always came to my mind that who am I? Am I a spiritual person or an agnostic- a fanatic believer or a liberal follower?

After much though I always came to a conclusion that I do believe in God. I do believe that there is a supernatural power that is controlling everything in this universe. Now again a question arises that whether this is my personal belief or majority of inhabitants believe in the same way. And the reason for this belief is that they are unable to answer many questions. They don't know the exact origin of life, they don't know whether hen came first or egg?

I am a believer but not a follower. I believe in God but don't have time to pray or follow the necessary rituals. I have my own excuses that I don't have time or I am busy in my own schedule. I have 3hrs to watch a movie but I can't spare 3mins to offer prayers. The case is not that I don't want to do all these things. The fact is that I want but I can't. People say that some miracle may force me to be a true follower and believer. I disagree with them as I have seen many miracles.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer and the concerned doctor said that it is in the later stage and she cannot be operated. The miracle happen and another doctor came as Godsend. She was operated and she is fine for last 15yrs.

Seven years back, my father had brain hemorrhage and heart attack at the same time. No one was expecting that he will survive and thank God he is with us till now.

Three years back, my mother fell down from stairs and her hip ball cracked. The doctor says that hip ball needs to be replaced else she would live a disabled life. The miracle does happen and she is walking on her own feet without any operation or medication. Even doctors were shocked to see that.

There are many more miracles that happen in my life but I am still the same shameless believer who is adamant of not following the religion religiously.

The question is still there that why I am like this? Why I can't change? Is the devil overpowering me or I have been my own devil who always wants to live an easier life? Am I taking my life as granted? Am I a person who always found shelter in excuses?

I am unable to get these answers. Do you know?

I am a believer but I want to be follower.